What Is Intimacy?

Christian counseling

For most of us the first thing that comes to mind is sexual intimacy, which is certainly an important part of intimacy but by itself, is one dimensional and is limited to one other person (According to God’s plan of sexual intimacy). To gain a 3 dimensional view of intimacy we’ll view the emotional, relational and spiritual aspects of intimacy and save the sexual aspect for another time. 

The core of intimacy can be easily described when pronounced as in-to-me-you-see. Intimacy is the ability to let others see your hurts, fears, dreams, desires, guilt, anxiety and shame without fear of rejection or to be used as a weapon.  

Emotional intimacy is at the core of any deep, meaningful relationship. The degree of intimacy depends on the relationship, a typical hierarchy goes something like this, spouse, close friends, family, and casual friendships. The higher the person is on the hierarchy, the more you share in frequency and depth.    

Relational intimacy is how you relate to others as friends, when you let your guard down to laugh, be silly and adventurous. Life often teaches us to be on the lookout for threats and prepare for the worst-case scenario. When you feel safe relationally, you are able to be free, open minded and willing to take risks.  

Spiritual intimacy is the ability to relate to others, to love them, know them and care for their well-being. Ultimately, we are able to spiritually relate to others because God has first become spiritually intimate with us, 1st John 4:7 “Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God.” and our ability to know God is tied to our ability to be spiritually intimate with others, 1st John 4:11-12 “Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other.  No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.” 

Guys commonly struggle in areas of intimacy. If you find yourself stuck because of fear, anxiety, shame or confusion I can help you.     

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About Me: I'm a Christian counselor in Vancouver, WA. I specialize in treating male teens and men's counseling. Please contact me with any questions about my blog, counseling or to set up an appointment.

All information and opinions shared on this blog are for educational purposes only. Please contact me or another mental health care provider for diagnosis and treatment.